Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
