remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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