Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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