I love black thongs
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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