weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
