rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I don't deserve a penis
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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