If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
