I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize