Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
