Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
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