Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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