dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
