You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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