i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
