Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
