i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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