I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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