I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Are we still banned from the library?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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