I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
