its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
