VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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