I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
