I don't remember. Are we still dating?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
