I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
