is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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