Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
