So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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