I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
