I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
