Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize