Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
