We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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