i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just high enough for therapy.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
