brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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