She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Is it penis luge time yet?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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