yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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