i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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