I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
