Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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