Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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