i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
