i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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