you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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