you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
