Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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