on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
