Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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