At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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