Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
