Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
