Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
