2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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