Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
