i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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