"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize