Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
